2 Big Adults and a Crate of Beer

further to the Punjapit report of the death of Nicolas Hayek the saviour of the Swiss Watchmaking Industry…

He also is credited up with coming up with the idea for the ultra-tiny Smart car, which can squeeze into parking spots your average sedan can only dream of. He said a city car only needed “room for two big adults and a crate of beer.”…

a True Punjapiteer Nicolas


by Arthur + remora (snow-bound in a Pub in Wales)

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Playboy Cover to Cover Digital Archive

just what every shed needs…. some light reading material.

Boast an envy-worthy gentleman’s mag collection without taking up an entire room of your home with the Playboy Cover to Cover Digital Archive. This self-contained collection arrives on a specially-branded aluminum USB hard drive, and lets you browse through every article, illustration, dirty joke, and, yes, boob from 1953 to 2010 without the need to get up from your computer — just like you’re used to, right?

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Beware The Mankini!

Sorry ladies (and gents) but the mankini isn’t going anywhere. In fact, the harder we resist the trend, the more fire we blow into it’s nostrils. And don’t blame Borat for the banana hammock fiasco — he was only the messenger. This eyesore predates him by a few years (think wrestling uniform meets Bavarian Lederhosen). Seriously peeps, men have been sporting Speedos for evah. Now designers are just glorifying this junk-enhancing lycra by spiffing it up a bit. You know, cut outs, neck straps, and thong-tha-thong-thong-thongs. I just have two words for men who want to put it all out there in one of these: Bikini wax. Seriously, if you’re going to advertise your goods to the world, you’re going to have to clean up the billboard a little. Capiche?



by The Punjapit Mankini’s

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Manager admits football team is ‘probably worst in Britain’

Madron FC has conceded 227 goals in losing 11 straight games in Cornwall’s Mining League, including one 55-0.

Madron FC’s start to the season has been, to put it mildly, disappointing.

The Cornish village team has lost 11 games on the trot, conceded 227 goals (scoring just twice themselves) and has been on the end of a 55-0 thrashing.

The stand-in manager, Alan Davenport, admitted Madron FC are “probably the worst team in Britain” after their “embarrassing” string of results but – clearly keen not to lose the dressing room – praised his players for at least turning up.

The club near Penzance was delighted to be promoted from division two of the Mining League last season. But a mass exodus of players, followed by the manager’s departure, left them struggling. Now the depleted squad, which is made up of people from a local pub and students, struggle to get 11 players out.

Asked to pose for a team photograph on Saturday, only eight of the 11 would do so – the others were too embarrassed to be associated with the club.

On Saturday they went down 22-0 to St Buryan. Only seven players and no recognised goalkeeper turned up for a game against Illogan RBL Reserves, which they lost 55-0.

Davenport, 68, said of that defeat: “It’s a struggle when you only have seven players and no goalkeeper. One of the lads went in goal and did his best. I know everybody is probably laughing at us but we will battle on.

“We will definitely keep playing every week and fulfil our fixtures until the end of the season. We have no plans to stop. Some of the players aren’t that brilliant so they are just happy to play. They can’t get games with anyone else. Fair play to them for turning up really. It would be easy to just give in and let their heads drop but we’ll fight on.”


by The Punjapit Alliance

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The pet rich list – the world’s millionaire mutts and moggies

Even a dog can have famous friends….

This is Gunther IV, the world’s richest Alsatian and the world’s richest dog!

Gunther, who inherited his money from his father (go figure), is worth a hefty $373 million, or thereabouts.

Gunther’s father, Gunther III lived with a German countess, Karlotta Liebenstein, who was a true animal lover. When the countess died, the money was left to her dog. Now Gunther IV has inherited it all, and thanks to some wise investments by his people, the fortune left to his father has tripled.

This is one dog who lives very high on the hog, indeed. Gunther has purchased a villa in Miami from Madonna, and also won a white truffle (very rare) in a raffle.

But apart from these sorts of splurges (because who knows how much that raffle ticket cost…), Gunther is making the most of his money as his trust fund grows each year.

Oh, Gunther, you can be our friend any time.


by Arf the Dog

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New cherry campaign hires pick of the crop

A swimming champion and a world class chef have joined forces to promote Tasmania’s cherry industry.

Former Olympian Ian Thorpe and chef Tetsuya Wakuda will head to Tokyo next month to promote Tasmanian-grown Japanese cherries.

The pair visited a cherry orchard at Plenty, near New Norfolk in the state’s south.

Tasmania is the only place, outside Japan, to grow the cherries which sell for about $1 each.

Mr Wakuda says the quality is comparable to the local product.

“I can’t tell the difference to be honest, I have grown up with it and it is the same,” Mr Wakuda said. “In Japan it’s a gift … a very special commodity.”

Mr Thorpe says the Japanese cherries are also high in antioxidants.

“They’re a really interesting taste, they’re quite sharp, they’re crisp,” he explained.

The crop will be harvested next month and about 80 tonnes exported to Japan, where Mr Wakuda and Mr Thorpe will be part of a media campaign.

“I don’t think it’s a hard sell, Japan is a very competitive market though,” Mr Thorpe said.

Tim Reid runs an orchard at Plenty, in the state’s south, which has grown from a single cherry tree cutting to 30,000 trees.

“Tasmania is quite a unique environment, the maritime climate, the long cool summers,” he said.

80 tonnes of the fruit will be exported to Japan next month in the first commercial shipment.

The growers hope to expand the market to countries including Singapore and Malaysia.


by The Punjapit Alliance

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Singapore condemns Asian Games swimming trunks

Singapore’s government has rebuked its water polo team at the Asian Games for wearing “inappropriate” swimming trunks featuring parts of the national flag.

The custom-made design includes a crescent-shaped moon on the front.

The information ministry says it was not consulted, and wants “elements of the flag to be treated with dignity”.

A country’s colours cannot be changed during the Asian Games. The Singaporean team has apologised and said the trunks would not be used after the tournament.

Pictures of the athletes sporting the trunks in Guangzhou, the Chinese city hosting the Games, have sparked a lively debate in the Singapore press and on social networking sites.


by The Punjapit Alliance

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Dear Leader..King Jon Eel

do your worst King Jon Eel...

“Dear leader Kim Jong Il

Friend of masses, savior of
Increased efforts of yours inspired
the masses
You have awakened them
To build modern DPRK
Brick by brick
Made them independent and masters
of their own destiny
Dear Leader Kim Jong Il
A rising star on the horizon
Shown the path of salvation
Of realism
Removed flunkeyism in the face of
severe odds
Dear Leader Kim Jong Il
A versatile personality
We Third Finger Salute you.”


by The Punjapit Alliance

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100 Recycled Bicycles = 1 Weird Christmas Tree

Most Christmas trees are already green, but this environmentally friendly holiday display in Sydney takes the concept to a new level: It’s made of bicycles that were destined for the recycling yard.

The bicycle tree, dubbed the “Tree-Cycle,” is made of 100 old bikes donated by a local recycling company. The bike frames were spray-painted tree green, while the tires were given a multi-colored makeover to make them look like holiday lights.

And if you thought you spent a lot of time putting up your tree, consider this: It took eight weeks to build the 23-foot-tall Tree-Cycle, which is on display at The Rocks, one of the city’s prime tourist and shopping districts.


by The Punjapit Alliance

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Rungrado May Day Stadium

Rungrado May Day Stadium has 150 000 seats and a total floor space of more than 207 000 square metres. The area of the pitches is over 22 500 square metres. The stadium has eight storeys and is more than 60 metres high from the ground to the roof. The 60 metre long canopy is enough to cover the section of the stands. The pent of the inner roof is 60 metres long and the outer roof 40m long. The 16 arch roofs link with one another like flower petals.

The roofs look like a large flower floating on the clear water of the Taedong, or a parachute which has just landed, so it gives the impression of a dynamic sculpture. The stadium has 80 exits and ten lifts. It was built in two and a half years on the picturesque Rungra Island in the Taedong River, and commissioned on May 1, 1989. Every condition is provided for international games. The football pitch is covered with natural grass, and the 400 metre track and other parts for field events are rubberised.

The stadium has various training halls, recreation rooms, an indoor swimming pool, an ultrasonic bat, a sauna, beds and so on, which are indispensable for the players training and convenience. It also has dining rooms, and a broadcasting room and telex booths. The rubberised indoor running track is several hundred metres long and is on the sixth floor.

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