‘Female’ romance author Jessica Blair unmasked as 89-year-old grandfather

In the past, female writers such as Charlotte Bronte had to adopt male pen names in order to get their books published. But the tables were turned for former war hero Bill Spence after he wrote a series of romance novels.

The grandfather from Ampleforth, North Yorkshire, was told his books would need to be printed under a feminine moniker if he wanted them to sell – and so his pseudonym Jessica Blair was born.

Bill, 89, has so far written 22 romance novels under the female pen name since his first was published in 1993, with his latest, Silence of the Snow, due out this week. 

Meet Jessica Blair: The author of 22 romantic novels is actually Bill Spence

Meet Jessica Blair: The author of 22 romantic novels is actually Bill Spence

 And far from feeling his masculinity had been questioned, Bill said he was delighted when a publisher suggested his books carry the name of a woman.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2274519/Female-romance-author-Jessica-Blair-unmasked-89-year-old-war-vet-called-Bill-Spence.html#ixzz2LCfSwhj0

by The Punjapit Alliance

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How About an Exciting Career as a Professional Fart Smeller?

According to Chinese news sources, the hottest career in health and physical well-being right now focuses entirely on analysing the smells of others’ rectal gas.

By picking up on traces sweet, savoury, bitter and even meaty aromas, these brave anal analyzers are allegedly able to identify illnesses and pinpoint their location in the body.

According to the smellsperts, extremely stinky farts indicate bacterial infection in the patient’s bowels or intestines. A raw, fishy or meaty smell, meanwhile, could point to infection in the digestive organs or even highlight the presence of bleeding or tumours in the intestinal lining. Finally, the presence of garlic or chives in our farts is thought to be an indicator that we’re consuming too much of the foods in question, which could ultimately result in inflammation of the small or large intestines.

But it’s not just the whiff of our farts that gives telltale signs about our health. The group also claims to be able to tell a lot about a person’s physical wellbeing by measuring the amount of gas expelled with each fart, with enormous guffs suggesting that we’re consuming too much fibre and mere whispers hinting at intestinal obstruction.


by Dr. Vince

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Vale remora….

It is with great sadness that we announce the death of remora.

remora was a founding member of Punjapit & a great friend to all at the shed.

With sincere sympathy,


Bakery workers strip for charity

Charity calendar /Greggs

Women staff at a branch of bakers Greggs have stripped off for charity, covering their modesty with buns and biscuits.

They bared nearly all for a charity calendar, now on sale at every one of the 1,650 Greggs shops across the UK.

Priced at £5 it has reportedly been flying off the shelves and is on course to raise more than £100,000 for the BBC Children in Need appeal.

The mouth-watering calendar was the idea of Kelly Gilmour, 32, an assistant ­manageress at the shop in Gateshead, Tyneside, where all the women work.

Kelly, who appears as Miss June with a pile of doughnuts and a can of cream, said: “Customers may look at their Belgian buns in a different way now.

“We were really nervous about ­doing the pictures but a couple of glasses of wine helped. Then it was good fun.”

Covered in Belgian buns as Miss March, manager Nicola Dickenson, 35, added: “We can’t believe it. We’re not exactly supermodels.”


by Elizabeth

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KISSTIXX Lip Balm Flavors Change While You Kiss

Smooching, swapping spit, making out.  It doesn’t matter what you call it, kissing is awesome.  But let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not so great.  From chapped lips to a funky taste you can’t quite put your finger on (tuna fish, maybe?), there’s a lot that can go wrong while you’re snogging.  But what if there was a product that could improve your make-out sessions and even make them more exciting.

 Here comes Kisstixx, a new product advertised as “the best thing to happen to kissing since the French got their lips on it.”  Made in America by two college buddies from Utah, Kisstixx is a set of two compatible lip balms that combine to create a chemical flavor reaction.

Kisstixx has been rapidly gaining popularity since the company’s humble beginnings in a college dorm in Utah and has expanded to Osaka’s specialty cosmetics company, “Make Up,” as of September 15.

The best thing about Kisstixx is that you get two tubes of lip balm in one pack.  Your partner wears one flavor and you wear the other complementary flavor.  The lip balm is delicious on its own, but when the two flavors combine, they heat up and create a tingling sensation.  “It’s all the about making your next kiss into an EXPERIENCE! Mix and match to your hearts content” boasts the Kisstixx Facebook page.


by A + E

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Blow Your Hair Out with this Colt Peacemaker Hair Dryer

The hair dryer is an essential tool for any woman who wants beautifully styled hair. The Colt Peacemaker is an American single action revolver and iconic pistol of the Wild West.

What do they have in common? Not much. But put together, they make the most badass blowdryer (or poorly-designed firearm) this side of the Mississippi.

The hair dryer is called the .357 Magnum Dryer (though it’s molded after the Peacemaker) and is a vintage novelty item made by Jerdon circa 1981. According to Dude I Want That, it has a faux-pearl handle and chrome-colored plastic barrel.


by A + E

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How’s It Hangin’ Japan? “To the Left,” Say About 40% of Guys

Here’s your Japanese vocabulary lesson for the day:

   Chinpoji   –    Cheenpojee   –   [noun]
The perfect position for a man’s junk to rest in his underwear, pants, etc.

For men worldwide, to function normally we have to have our gear oriented in the correct position.  If through moving or sitting we fall out of chinpoji, then our minds become clouded with neuroses.

According to a survey by Japanese underwear maker Wacoal, 75% of men “are anxious about the positioning of their ‘front parts.’”  Not just the discomfort going on inside the pants; many men feel that their packages can be seen by people on the outside too when they’re out of place. This causes us to perform emergency public adjustments, which makes any woman within eyeshot go “ugghhh.”  In the end no one wins.

Yahoo Japan’s R25 explored this issue deeper, seeking to discover if all men’s chinpoji are the same and, if so, ask a medical professional why.  Here’s what they found.

In a survey they asked 300 men aged 25 to 39 what position their chinpoji is.  Here are the preferred positions.

1 – Left (38.7%)
2 – Right (23.0%)
3 – Down (22.0%)
4 – Up (15%)
5 – Other (0.7%)

While “up” and “down” seems rather uncomfortable, the mind reels at what that 0.7% does. Straight out? Coiled? Over the shoulder?

Anyways, the results of the survey shows that male genitalia are just like snowflakes. There’s a lot of variety.  But there does seem to be a lot of guys pointing to the left. Is there a reason for that?

R25 interviewed a medical professional who explained that there’s no medically determined cause, but he did have his own theory.

“Many men in Japan are right-handed and often use that hand for masturbation. Because of this, the penis is able to bend to the left more easily because of the repeated pressure applied from the right hand. So the genitals are likely to fall on the side opposite of the dominant hand.”

Although the doctor’s logic seems reasonable, he is the first to admit there are many other factors that come into play including size and shape as well as the style of clothing.

So it seems that guys vary widely on their chinpoji and the location is possibly related to going on a date with Palmela Handerson, but what can be done to prevent guys from falling out of their chinpoji?


by Elizabeth

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Brad Pitt “Inevitable” Chanel N°5 Campaign

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Shocking pants could prevent sores

Electric pants /Rex

Underwear which jolts the buttocks with electricity could be used to prevent pressure sores.

Canadian academics said that in a short trial on 37 people, the shocks mimicked fidgeting and prevented sores forming.

Doctors at the University of Calgary tested underwear which placed two pads of electrodes on each cheek.

Patients who were unable to move because of a spinal cord injury were zapped with 10 seconds of stimulation every 10 minutes for 12 hours a day.

The findings, presented at the Neuroscience 2012 conference, showed that none of the 37 patients developed a sore during the month long trial.

Robyn Rogers, a research nurse at the university, said: “Pressure ulcers can be terribly debilitating.

“Their incidence has not changed since the 1940s, indicating that the current methods of prevention simply are not working.

“Our hope is that this innovative, clinically friendly system will eventually make a difference in the lives of millions of people.”

Sores form when people are stuck in one position for too long, which compresses the skin and cuts off the blood supply.

They are a common problem in hospitals around the world and cost the NHS up to £2bn a year, according to the Royal College of Nursing.


by A + E

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Weird Buttless, Crotchless Panty Hose is Perfect for Summer in Japan

Why didn’t I have these in the summer?  I’m not going to sugar coat it, summer in Japan is THE WORST!  It’s so hot that people send out “please don’t die this summer” greeting cards, so humid that you feel like you are swimming through the air.  If you’re unlucky enough to work in a place that strives to be ecofriendly (like my school), you’ll be unable to get any work done all summer long, spending your entire day staring longingly at the motionless air conditioning unit. 

If you’re a woman and have to dress up for a formal occasion in the dead of summer, you might as well wrap yourself up in plastic wrap and sit outside in the sun all day.  Wearing panty hose while summer is in full force is a sweatfest for your–excuse the scientific terminology–crotchular region.

 Sweaty ladies of Japan, rejoice!  Legwear manufacturing company, Frantica, has created a pair of buttless, crotchless panty hose intended to give women in sauna land a little relief from the heat.


by A + E

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